What's in a Dad?

Mommyhood is an undeniable truth. Once, you are in it...you are in it for life. Right from conception, a mom can bond with her child.

Fatherhood, on the other hand is an acquired quality. Most fathers I have spoken to have said that they were quite confused about their role in their baby's life. What are they supposed to do with the teeny-tiny squiggly thing that a newborn infant is?

Moreover, according to the ancient custom in our country, the mommy-to-be used to be packed off to her parent's place mid-way through her pregnancy and she would get back only after the child has been born and is nearly a year old. So what does the poor father get? A toddler who hardly knows him!!! 

When I was expecting Little S (a.k.a Sunshine), I was quite sure that I wanted the Hubby by my side at all times. So, he was there with me when I had gone to my first ultrasound and we had seen the tiny heart beating on the screen together. That was one unforgettable memory.

After Sunshine's birth, I stayed for one month at my mom's place. The next month I was back at my own home with my one-month old in tow. My in-laws had come down to stay with us, so I just took care of the baby whereas my mom-in-law held fort in the kitchen with her maid-of-all-work.

Right from Day 1, Hubby has taken care of our precious little one, as much as I have. I still have this precious memory from when Sunshine was two-month's old. As of all babies of that age, she would sleep all day, just getting up to feed and pee. On weekends, Hubby used to play the songs of Kishore Kumar and rock her slowly in his arms while dancing softly in the room. "What are you doing?" I used to ask.

"She is dancing with me and enjoying the music", was the usual reply. What would a two-month-old know about Kishore Kumar? But that was the least of his concerns. He would keep rocking her softly and dancing to music, while she carried on sleeping.

As she grew up, Sunshine used to look forward to the time her Daddy would get home from the office. The moment he used to enter the room, her eyes used to light up. She would crane her neck towards him and smile at him. After freshening up, he would take her in his lap. He would lie down on the sofa with her on his tummy and she would gurgle and play with him for such time till she felt sleepy.

As Sunshine hit the terrible two's Hubby invented many new games for her. Most of these games were not toys of any kinds but simple things that we use in the house. Her favorite game was to sit with two to three bowls in front of her. Hubby would fill one bowl with beans (rajma) and another with chana (Bengal gram). Her favorite pastime was pouring the beans from bowl to another. She would play for hours pouring the contents of one bowl to another.

She loved feeling the different textures of beans and chana with her fingers. "But these are things to eat. She will waste them" I used to complain.

"Let her waste some." he would say.

I still remember one instance very vividly. One night Sunshine started crying very hard during her bedtime. I was nonplussed. She was generally a very happy baby who would go off to sleep right after a feed. But this time nothing would calm her. She was bawling her head off. Literally screaming. Both me and my mom-in-law were trying our level best to calm her but to no avail.

Hubby took her in his arms and started walking from one end of the room to the other. She carried on screaming. But he kept on walking without losing his cool. After a while, she gave a loud burp and peed all over his shirt. And immediately fell asleep.

He quietly handed over the sleeping child to me.

"Don't you feel yucky?" I asked.

"Why should I? Would you?" he asked.

I was speechless. This was Dad!